The Free Beans

This is the story of a man who won and a woman who lost.

The self checkout registers at my local grocery store always print out an extra coupon for you when you finish catered to your purchase. Typically they’re crap. You spent $50? Here’s a coupon that gives you $5 off if you spend $100 next time. Bought a box of cereal? Here’s a coupon to get half off on a box when buy three at once. Most people don’t even bother taking them. Me? I take them.

When I arrived home I looked over my loot, checking to see if I had gotten anything actually worth using. And that was when I found it. The golden ticket. A coupon for a free can of beans. I tripled checked the fine print. It really was just for a free can of beans. No strings attached. Finally I had gotten something good. The woman who had been in front of me had lost. Big time. What a fool. I was the one with the free can of beans now.

On my next trip to the store I searched the shelves. I had never bought canned beans before and the coupon only would work on a very specific brand and type. I found them in the corner of the aisle, covered with a thin layer of dust. Perhaps these beans don’t sell? Is that why they’re giving them away? Doesn’t matter. They’re free.

I brought the beans up to the register and scanned them along with the coupon. I was ready for one last catch to prevent me from getting the goods. But there was none, they really were free.

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